It’s been three months since I’ve blogged. That might be my longest stretch of silence.
I just don’t like writing about negative things and definitely don’t have anything running related to say.
The last three months have been busy between my 2 jobs, but all was going mostly well up until this last month when for some reason or another I just lost any and all motivation for everything. I worked 15 days in a row up until December 22nd and it was a lot more exhausting than I expected.
Things just haven’t been the greatest around here. I am not going to get into all of them, but I did get laid off from my job that I’ve been at for 5 years. There’s a hiatus happening and depending on if a show sells or not, there’s potential for returning. Either way though, I probably won’t be returning, some shit happened and it’s absolutely time to move on!
I spent 4 days in NH visiting family and it was a pretty great trip! We got to see a lot of family and friends and it was a nice escape for the most part. Back to reality starting today. I would love to say I have all this renewed energy and motivation, but I’m exhausted and I just want to sleep all day.
Starting this week, I have to start a hardcore job search, I definitely cannot pay my rent without a job. My 30th birthday is in 2 weeks and I’m having a hard time not feeling disappointed in myself. I just pictured my life at 30 to be a bit different.
I still have my beer and cheese job, but it’s only part time. I wish it could be a full time job with benefits and stuff because I love it so much, but it’s not possible.
I’ve also gained weight. And not just a measly 5 pounds, but I’m up 15 pounds and I just feel awful about myself. I’m not treating myself well and it’s starting to show, it’s a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to snap out of. My life feels a bit out of control and I don’t like that at all! I just can’t seem to get my shit together and I keep spiraling down a hole.
I don’t feel like a runner anymore either. 🙁 I’m pretty sure I just went back to the point I was at 7 years ago and I’ve lost that health and fitness mentality. Getting started is so fucking hard!
Whine, whine, whine.
Hopefully the new year will be just what I need to get back to normal. I will have some extra time for a few weeks, so I need to make sure I take advantage of that and get some good workouts in.
Happy New Year?